{"id":1204,"date":"2020-10-10T13:27:31","date_gmt":"2020-10-10T13:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/urbanvolcano.net\/en\/?p=1204"},"modified":"2024-08-23T18:47:35","modified_gmt":"2024-08-23T18:47:35","slug":"the-big-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbanvolcano.net\/en\/the-big-question\/","title":{"rendered":"The Big Question"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Other formats: PDF<\/a> | \u00edslenska<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n

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\"The<\/a>
Illustration by B\u00f6rkur Sigurbj\u00f6rnsson<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

I followed her into the apartment, stepped over the threshold, passed a milestone, walked towards a new chapter in my life, a new future\u2014who knew?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMake yourself comfortable on the sofa while I prepare the tea.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I rubbed my hands together. I was cold. The cup of tea would help me recover my normal body temperature, and continue the disruption of the status quo<\/em> that had characterized my life for so long\u2014who knew?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We had met a couple of months ago in the stretching room of the gym and started talking. Our chat had kicked off on the subject of stretching but somehow we ended up talking about Alvar Aalto’s influence on modern architecture. To this day, the exact conversation is a bit blurry in my mind\u2014I’m not sure how we jumped from one subject to the next\u2014but the important conclusion of the encounter was that we connected on some divine level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After our first gym encounter I started to exercise more regularly. Although it was maybe not entirely a conscious decisions, I guess I did it in the hope I would run into her again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually I did. She was exercising on a treadmill by the big window overlooking the snowy lawn. I walked up to the machine next to hers and started running. While working out, we stole glances at each other and smiled. After a long run we nodded simultaneously and headed over to the stretching room where we continued our conversation where we had left it the other day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the next few weeks we met regularly inside and outside the gym. We trained together. We took long walks. We went out for coffee. We continued talking. We covered one subject after another. I fell in love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today was the first time I had entered her apartment. This afternoon we had been walking in the woods for several hours in the freezing cold and she had suggested we rounded up the walk by going to her place for a cup of tea. I gladly accepted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI hope you like green tea,\u201d she said as she entered the living room with a teapot and two cups on a tray which she put down on the coffee table by the sofa. \u201cIt’s the only tea I’ve got in the house.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, I like green tea.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided not to mention that it was actually my favorite type of tea. It would have sounded too cheesy. Too superficial. Too good to be true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She poured the tea, handed me a cup and we immediately started our customary chit-chat, traversing quite fluidly as usual from one subject to the next without any effort. With a small exception, though. From my side the conversation was not as fluid as before. There was an elephant in the room I had to address. There was an important question on my mind. The big question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She, however, continued talking as before\u2014chatting about everything and nothing\u2014jumping from one subject to the next. I tried my best to keep up with her, but in the background I couldn\u2019t stop thinking about how I could bring up my question, struggling to find a moment to sneak it in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there came a brief silence while she poured us some more tea. This was my moment. This was my chance. I grabbed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCould you ever consider owning a dog?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Immediately after asking the questions I knew I didn’t want to hear her answer. I was terrified to know what she thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she said without hesitation. \u201cOne of these days I’ll definitely get myself a big Labrador.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On that moment a dark cloud blocked the sunshine that had brightened up my life for the past few weeks. I knew it was all over. The relationship had no future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n